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Barney Stinson
23 July 2008 @ 12:20 pm
Be on the lookout. For my EVIL TWIN. LARNEY!he hates the homeless

Barney Stinson
23 July 2008 @ 11:38 am
113. TEN titles for your autobiography of bio-pic movie

1. Awesome is his Name.
2. Captain Awesome and the New York Stories.
3. Always Suited Up!
4. TEN Awesome Things I did to You!
5. Awesome, God of Sex.
6. There will be Bro's.
7. Wingman, The Untold Story.
8. Barney Vs. Larney.
9. Slapbet: the Truth behind the Bruise.
10. Barney, I changed my last name to Awesome, Stinson Awesome!

Muse | Barney Stinson
Fandom | How I Met Your Mother
Barney Stinson
23 July 2008 @ 11:22 am
TEN things about Barney Stinson and/or TEN things he thinks you should know.

1. I have a wingman, thanks for your interest but the position has been filled. Please leave your application on my desk and when Ted finally ties the knot like the big Marshall-baby he can be ... I'll give it gander.

2. I'm Barney and I'll say anything to you, yes you to get you into bed. This only applies to chicks. I'm still trying to find the best way to keep you dudes away on the internet.

3. Don't ask me what I do, it'll just confuse you. All you need to know is that I am the awesomest awesomer whose ever awesomed. I even have a crown.

4. Every guy needs a good bro. Someone to catch you when you fall and to say 'yes' when a hot girl starts looking into your lines.

5. There are three things every bro should know. a) Bro's Before Hos. b) Every bro needs a suit and when his bro calls and tells him to "Suit Up!" he should do it because it's proven that the suit works! c) Don't even consider getting married till your 30 and even then you might want to give yourself a few more years to age gracefully like a fine wine that can only be sipped by hot blonde 20somethings. d) Always make sure their legal, that ones's for free AM I RIGHT?

6. Marriage is the devil. It's really that simple. When you get married you stop having sex, good sex anyway. I don't think Marshall and Lilly really count their floor is crooked.

7. The peace corp is for loosers. Telling a girl you're joining the peace corp so you never have to see her again is AWESOME!

8. Every man must live by the set of rules written by our founding fathers. For this I give you ... The Bro Code, there are no loopholes, believe me, I've tried.

9. It's good to keep a lawyer around for when you get into little messes that can't be tidied up by disappearing the next morning with a certified letter claiming you were a ghost only around for one night.

10. I never apologize. Women don't really want to be apologized to. The hot ones want you to give them attention and subtly put them down so that when they wake up in the morning and you and your Armani/Dolce etc ... Suit is gone ... they realize they just had the BEST NIGHT EVER!

Muse | Barney Stinson
Fandom How I Met Your Mother